The Victory

 66 Up until now, I've been speaking of the ten years corresponding to the war (between 1971 and 1981). And in the spiritual sense, a war, signifies the battle of truth against falsity. (I'm reminded of King David here, as this is what he signified.) Thus it's apparent this war concerns the conquest of my soul: the struggle of my soul, coming to repentance—which is definitely a spiritual battle.

 67 So what might have occurred about this time to might signify this? (around 1981). There's a bit of a story, so I'll begin with when I moved to Los Altos, California from Sunnyvale (n107). And here I moved into a cottage that was built like a duplex (with an adjoining neighbor), built behind my landlord's house in front (and there was an adjoining cottage to my landlord's house). I lived here for five nearly years (58 months), the longest at anyplace since being on my own.

 68 My cottage was built behind the carport, and as I walked through the entrance in back, I took an immediate left, down a covered brick walkway, and came into the courtyard. As I walked into the courtyard, the roof came sloping down in front. And looking up the roof, to the right and in back, was a huge black walnut tree, overhanging from the neighbor's property. I really enjoyed living here, for it was secluded and relatively quiet—except for my adjoining neighbor, who threw parties and played loud music late at night occasionally. (The courtyard tended to amplify the noise coming into my bedroom.) And it seems what I needed more than anything else at this point was my privacy.

  The Doves

 69 One thing about the walnut tree, is that it served as a place for doves to roost during the day, and there was rarely a day when at least one or two weren't perched there. (I don't recall what it was like during the winter). I soon began to establish a rapport with the doves, and occasionally one or two landed on the roof. And when I walked into the courtyard from the carport (the roof wasn't visible in front so I couldn't see them), I would first stop, stand still, and look at them. Being startled and nervous they were about ready to fly off. But I just stood there and became very calm in myself, looking at them peacefully. In a moment or two they would settle down and I'd walk casually into the house. I was very happy to have them there, for they were harbingers of peace, and added to the serenity of the setting.

 70 On one particular day, while sitting in my easy chair in the living room and reflecting on the events of my life, it happened. I was overcome with great sadness, and started to feel very sorry about the things I had done—especially the animosity I held towards my mother. And I let go and cried out to God, and cried like I never cried before, as a torrent of tears came streaming down my face. And the most wonderful thing happened at that moment: doves began to pour out of the tree and land on the roof, coming down in streams as I cried, and landed directly above my head! And I could hear the rush of wings and feathers (the sound doves make when they fly), and the pitter-patter of many feet (readily discernable through the wood ceiling). I might add that they were mourning doves!

 71 And I was astonished, for it was a regular congregation! And when I went outside to look, there were 20 doves there! The most I'd seen before at one time was three or four. And I began to feel relieved, as sadness turned into joy; for it was an important sign from above, that I was finally reconciled to God—i.e., the war had been won. And, in spite of what happened next, He had acknowledged me as His own. ". . . and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him . . ." Matthew 3:16. And when John baptized Jesus in the water, he was preaching repentance, just as Roy Masters was preaching repentance.

 72 I didn't actually count the number of doves, but for some reason I had in mind 20, when looking back some time later. There was at least this many. And though I felt compelled to say there was 21 later, which signifies the marriage or, reconciliation (or repentance), I had a strong sense about the number 20 (intuition?), and opted to stay with it. And so corresponds to the 20 years Odysseus was absent from home (n1; n4:102); which seems to corroborate what I'm writing here. It's also significant that I didn't draw the correlation to Odysseus or, consider undertaking this chapter before determining this.

  King Anius

 73 As for the exact date this occurred I'm not sure, but it was sometime during late 1980 and late 1981: at least nine years since I left San Jose. Which need not be viewed as a deviation from Odysseus' story, for it was King Anius of Delos, who prophesied Troy wouldn't be taken for nine years, and only conquered in the tenth year. (It happened early in the tenth year I believe.) And what may only be a coincidence, were Anius' three daughters, called The Winegrowers, who were given special powers by Dionysus. And they were forced to surrender aboard Odysseus' ship as it embarked, to make provisions for the expedition; such were the nature of Dionysus' gifts. But they called upon Dionysus for help, who turned them into doves, and doves have since been protected on Delos.

 74 My experience with the doves here was a precedent, and I had several similar experiences later, to the point of becoming regular, and under nearly the same circumstances: i.e., moments of remorse and elation, though not with the same gravity. And I had other encounters with doves, whether they were from my tree or not I don't know? that served to warn of impending danger, typically while out driving in my car. And I'd be driving down the highway, perhaps daydreaming a little, when a dove would fly right in front of me and whisk on by. It tended to serve as a reminder, for me to wake up and concentrate on what I was doing, for some danger lay ahead. (This is how I looked at it.) Sure enough something would occur, that required my being alert, otherwise I could have gotten into an accident! It was uncanny how it happened.

  Doves on the Pavement

 75 This was all brought home one day at the electronics store, when I bought a piece of used equipment. I got out of my car and began walking through the parking lot towards the store. When suddenly I walked up on two doves sitting on the pavement that I didn't see. And I got within two feet and nearly stepped on them before they panicked: and with a sudden flapping of wings and feathers they were gone; I was totally startled! I believe they landed on the high voltage lines down the road—or, it seems I was looking that way—look out! It's funny how they let me get so close, almost as if they knew me. (I was only a few miles from home.) Could it have been a warning signal? A very real one? As I was startled more than anything, I didn't realize what happened, and didn't think to take it as an omen.

 76 Anyway I proceeded to go into the store and look around. When I found something I was interested in I asked the owner if I could plug it in to see if it worked. He said yes. Guess what? I didn't know what I was doing. And there were sparks, and a loud pop—and I burned the heck out of my hand! Fortunately they were only second degree burns. I should have heeded the warning!

  Petaluma, California

 77 This was expanded on even further, when I made a copy of my experiences here and gave it to a friend at work. He didn't get back to me for about a week, and when he did, he told me of an experience he had. He said he and a friend were out driving in his truck, down Highway 101 near Petaluma, California, when two doves flew from out of the redwood trees along the freeway. And he managed to hit one and kill it, as it smacked into the windshield—right in his friends face! For some reason he sensed the survivor was bereaved, as it flew away. His friend, who was an astrologer, was very dismayed, and said it was an omen: he said it at that moment and at least twice. There was also something, that may or may not pertain, about the dove bouncing off the truck and hitting a motorcyclist driving behind them: who flagged them down and accused them of throwing a dead chicken out the window at him. Why not? this was Petaluma, the chicken capitol of the world! And a heated argument ensued, that nearly broke out into a brawl, perhaps distracting them from what initially happened?

 78 Was the killing of this dove an omen, as his friend said? Well as fate would have it, it was this very friend—who was struck more by the incident than he was—that ran off with his wife a few months later! (I wonder if his friend made the connection?) And he was the one left, bereaving for her loss. He also said it was something he had repressed since 1979, and his friend and wife were still together as of 1991 and, that it all resurfaced and came to light when he read my story. I find it interesting how well his story corroborates mine. The one testifies to the other!

  Los Altos, California

 79 As for my residence in Los Altos, being my second residence, I draw a correlation to the second church or, Church of Smyrna. Revelation 2:8-11. This is what I ascribe to Roy Masters and the Foundation of Human Understanding. Indeed this where I did most of my inner work regarding Roy. I also began working at an electronics firm, N.C.R. Corp. (from 4/81 to 10/83), where I began to develop my work skills together with my understanding of Roy. This is where I got the idea for the New Church of the Reformed, i.e., N.C.R. (detailed in chapter 13). The development of the two seemed to coincide and peak at the same time.

 80 And as this company (this division) was in a state of transition, a lot of restructuring went on internally, that gave me a chance to get in on some new things. I became a part of engineering and began to work closely with the engineers and document control. Where I began processing engineering changes, did mechanical design and drafting, technical report writing, prototype fabrication, chemistry and film evaluation tests (a photographic process), and electro-mechanical systems test.

 81 This is what I ascribe to the science aspect of my life—or, height of its development—in accord with Jennifer (n4:32), the second aspect of Gerarai (n4:1). And so portrays the Church of Smyrna, or church of false doctrine (as Swedenborg explains), for we're speaking of the process of exploration—where nothing is yet substantiated—except perhaps the process itself. (I developed the ability to do research and record the results.) I view the FHU in a similar way, for it portrays the second aspect or leg of the triangle or, the base of the pyramid: at it's foundation! It's one reason why these people are so difficult to deal with, for they represent the established viewpoint. And they won't budge! (n12:40-41).

 82 As for the walnut tree overhanging the roof, I said it was a black walnut, which represents to the Sixth Church or, the United States (n1:30). It also portrays the Church of Philadelphia, the 6th church in Revelation 3:7-13. And so brings up Philadelphia, which is located in Pennsylvania, the 2nd state (2nd church?) (n6:67). It suggests something similar: the rooting of the 6th state in the 2nd state (or church).

  Church of Smyrna

 83 And when speaking of the Church of Smyrna Revelation 2:9 says: ". . . I know the blasphemy of them which say they are Jews, and are not, but are the synagogue of Satan." It's speaking of those who comprise this church, in a general sense. And of the Church of Philadelphia Revelation 3:9 says: "Behold, I will make them of the synagogue of Satan [Smyrna], which say they are Jews, and are not . . . to come and worship before thy feet . . ." It suggests the same thing as above, Philadelphia (6) is rooted in Smyrna (2). Whereby in terms of Gerarai, the number 62 corresponds to 6 itself (n4:36,68; n6:58-59).

 84 While in Swedenborg's account (The Apocalypse Revealed), he says a Jew, in The Word, signifies the highest aspect of good, or love towards God. (He says elsewhere that it signifies the opposite—what is diabolical.) And that those of this church speak blasphemy, or are liars, because they call themselves Jews, when in fact they're not. And he says good and truth coexist together, and are contingent upon on each other: i.e., good can't exist outside of context of the truth . Therefore, as their beliefs are based on falsities, they can't be called Jews, for good doesn't cohere to what is false.

 85 Swedenborg also says it's more a matter of doctrine, of what is false—not evil—and, while they believe they're practicing good, they're not. And so they represent neither good nor evil: what it suggests is sterility. He says falsities must be removed first, before good can be implanted. Thus it's apparent I'm speaking of Roy Masters (n12:10-11), and indeed I've heard him say, more than once, one had to be Jewish first, before becoming a Christian. And those who subscribed to his philosophy were subscribing to what was Jewish. But as many of his statements are falsehoods, he becomes a liar. This very statement is then false, for we're speaking of the highest aspect of worship, not the lowest. So where does one begin? It was Paul who took this matter up with the other apostles in Acts 15.

 86 The book of Revelation also says some from the Church of Smyrna will be cast into prison: ". . . behold, the devil shall cast some of you into prison, that ye may be tried; and ye shall have tribulation ten days . . ." Revelation 2:10  Swedenborg says this refers to those who are cast into hell after death, and tortured, until their falsities are removed (its severity dependent on their confirmation). And by ten days, it signifies the full length or duration—as long as one wishes to remain in falsities. This actually happened to Roy when he was in Texas. He was thrown into jail for practicing without a license: albeit it may not be the same thing as confessing falsities, although similar.

 87 And here, I often felt I was cast into a dungeon (or cave) when living in Los Altos: and subjected myself to many afflictions—per the nature of Roy's philosophy. And, I've often heard Roy speak about this unspeakable thing (the devil), that awaits everyone after death! Could it still be waiting for him? I discuss this further in chapter 12, regarding the Minoaur (n12:40).