23rd Residence ...

  ... Cousin Pentheus

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My 23rd residence involved moving in with my aunt and uncle in Sebastopol, California. I had driven my truck from Willits, and had just crossed the Sonoma County line, when I ran out of gas. I was still out in the middle of nowhere, and it was still another ten miles to Cloverdale. But I remembered I had three-quarters of a gallon of white gas left from the backpack stove and lantern, and thought it was worth a try. So I put it in the tank and sure enough the truck started. And while I managed to make it to Cloverdale, with the needle sitting on empty, I didn't have any money for gas. So I parked in a residential area about a half-block from the gas station and began hitchhiking to Santa Rosa.

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Although Cloverdale was only 60 miles from Santa Rosa, it took me at least three hours to get to my mother's house. It wasn't easy getting somebody to stop and give me a ride. When I got to my mother's house, I asked for money for gas and began hitchhiking back to Cloverdale. But I only got as far as the freeway exit, and waited at least two hours, to no avail. So I walked back to my mother's house and called my uncle in Sebastopol, and asked if he could give me a ride. My uncle stopped by shortly thereafter and drove me to Cloverdale. While along the way we had discussed my situation, and he said it wouldn't be a problem if I came to stay at their house for awhile. So this is where I wound up staying for the next few months.

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That which was most noticeable about my stay here, was my relationship with my cousin. For up until now, I haven't mentioned anything about Dionysus' relationship with his cousin Pentheus. And indeed, why bother to bring up the myth without mentioning something so integral as this. It began after I started working on some of the symbolism in this book, more specifically the Star of David or hexagram within a circle. And then we were watching a movie together, called The Believers, a very intense movie with Martin Sheen in it, about the religion called Santoria, which is a cross between voodoo and Catholicism.

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And at one point I was so wound up that with my fists clenched, and a grimace on my face, I exclaimed, Yes! Which could easily have been misconstrued for an acknowledgment of the evil in the movie. But it was really the acknowledgement of it in myself, and my rising to meet it. It's like, Yes, I acknowledge this, and I'm going to fight it! As I said it was very intense. Shortly afterwards we both went to the store to buy some pop and potato chips, etc.. We paid separately and mine came out to $3.34, and I gave the lady a ten dollar bill. And when she gave me back the change, I turned to my cousin and cheerfully said, "Look, 666!" In light of what had already happened (unbeknownst to me), he couldn't understand I was only joking.

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Anyway, it wasn't long before he started telling everyone at the house that I was into Devil worship, and he kept referring to the hexagram within a circle. And, although this symbol has been used in such rituals (i.e., not what I'm using it for in this book), the more common symbol is an upside down pentagram within a circle, which is what he kept telling everybody I was working with. Apparently this had gone on for awhile, which I wasn't aware of until my aunt approached me some time later and asked what symbol I was working with, if it was the Star of David. And I said yes. This was after she had asked my mother, and it was my mother who later asked me, and told me what my cousin was saying. She said she understood it was the Star of David, based upon things she had seen, and this is what she told my aunt.

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At one point I had a dream, which occurred after my cousin and I helped my mother pick up some chairs for her dining room. And he and I were clowning around a little, sort of challenging each other about who could do a better job. Thus as I slept on the floor, and in my dream I also lay on the floor, I was approached by his black cat, Loco, with its back arched and tail raised, challenging me as it approached my face. And I didn't know what to make of it, whether it was going to attack or it was just a ruse, but I knew it represented my cousin and what had happened earlier.

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I still didn't want to take any chances, and when I awoke (almost immediately), I made the gesture of picking it up and tearing it to pieces, something I had learned to do in order to defend myself against the instinctive masculine forces—or Titans—who tend to shoot first and ask questions later (and I'm reminded of Zagreus, the "man renderer"). A moment later I fell back asleep and had another dream. I was walking through a dark city, and all about me as I looked around, it was made up of cat parts! It was an eerie feeling, and yet I knew it was this cat I had torn apart a moment before. And I started getting sucked out to sea, and pulled under by some giant creature looking like an octopus (no doubt related to Poseidon). At which point I did all I could to wrench myself awake.

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While it brings up what happened when I was a teenager and living in San Jose, California. Someone in my friend Nathan's family had picked up a stray cat, and it was his sister Adrian (there's something about that name) who bequeathed his name: Pe-nyn-theus. And while I'm not sure how it was spelled, it sounds phonetically the same as what's spelled here. Which is strange, for it's essentially the same as the name Pentheus! While his sister Adrian said it was Greek, for pain-in-the-butt. An appropriate title for Pentheus? All of which suggests an affinity to Pentheus and cats right from the start.

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Thus having received such an epitaph, the cat's fate was pretty well sealed. And kids being kids, there were enough things being said, by Nathan and other friends, about what a royal pain-in-the-butt it really was! And I, being the tortured soul that I was, and in the spirit of one-upmanship, suggested Nathan prove how tough he were and kill the cat! Which we proceeded to do (much to Nathan's dismay). We first strung it up on the fence and tried hanging it, but that didn't work. So we took it into the gully in the brickyard (next door) and proceeded to smash it over the head with some boulders. It was a very sadistic act, and yet it epitomizes everything which had gone wrong with my life up to that point. The cat was also black and white, and so suggests an affinity with the name Dennis.

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All of which brings up the myth, for it was just about the time that King Cadmus bequeathed his kingdom to his grandson Pentheus, that Dionysus appears in The Bacchae. Which would be about right, for this was about the time my cousin was coming into his own and began taking on responsibilities on my aunt and uncle's property. (And at the age of 32, after all the other children had gone their separate ways, he was the only one left to receive it.) And naturally, the alarm begins to sound when something foreign comes along and poses a threat. Which indeed is how Pentheus perceives Dionysus when he arrives, and asks the women of Thebes to celebrate in his worship.

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While it was also Dionysus' task to punish the women of Thebes by driving them mad, for not acknowledging he was the son of Zeus, and hence the Maenads. (And while this was the name given to his followers, it stems from those who originally opposed him.) Which applies even more so to Semele's sisters, who claimed it was a lie that Semele slept with Zeus, and that Dionysus was born out of wedlock, for which they boasted Zeus had killed her. So it was the women of Thebes were driven off in a frenzy, into the mountains, where they caught up with Pentheus spying on them from a tree top. And it was his mother Agave who spied him first, saying, "Look, a mountain lion!" From which the crazed women rushed over to shake him down and tear him to pieces, his mother Agave seizing him first and wrenching his head off. Remember the cat Loco? Which by the way means crazy in Spanish, and was actually my aunt's cat (although my cousin had named it).

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Whereas the one experience that brings this altogether occurred a few years later, when my mother and I drove to my aunt and uncle's for Thanksgiving. And on the way, as we drove through the countryside (it almost seemed like spring), my mother and I looked across the field and noticed some sheep, and noticed the newborn baby lambs. And my mother exclaimed, "Look at the baby lambs!" And I had an ominous thought, thinking here we were two lambs going to the slaughter, and began to think of my cousin's relationship with Pentheus, and how he's perceived as a mountain lion, specifically. Well we drove up to the house, and when we walked in the front door, there was my cousin with a purple T-shirt on—with a mountain lion on it! And I was dumbfounded! ...

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One final thing I would like to say, is that I did not lift a finger against these people, physically, mentally or spiritually, that indeed everything that happened was of a matter-of-course, which is probably the most critical thing I can say. Whereas all I did was "Tend the Sheep" (tend to my motives) ... And so it seems fitting that I stayed until December 6th: "And the woman fled into the wilderness, where she hath a place prepared of God, that they should feed her there a thousand two hundred and three score days." Revelation 12:6

413	"But he turned, and said unto Peter, Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men." Matthew 16:23

TO BE CONTINUED ...

  Residences 24 through 26

TO BE CONTINUED ...

  Residences 27 through 50

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After establishing the company as my 26th residence, I moved into a small cottage along Rogue River Highway. It was a mile or so east of my seventh residence and became the 27th (where I had the dream about the American Indians in chapter 5). About six months later I moved into a house with someone in northwest Grants Pass—my 28th residence (where I speak of Roy Masters and the wasps in chapter 6). It was in October I believe, that I got laid-off, and considered it my 29th move or, change of state.

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All of which was corroborated when I was rehired in January and the company was preparing to move. For they rented a big storage trailer to haul things over to Medford (it sat mostly in Grants Pass), with the funniest bumper sticker on back. Saying, Escape Wisconsin. Now I had already drawn the correlation to Oregon, Idaho and Kansas and their respective order (as detailed in chapter 6) and, as I considered it the 30th move (in conjunction with getting rehired), I began to wonder about Wisconsin—the 30th state. And there was the bumper sticker! (While it foretells of the dilemma that lay ahead, in the next chapter.)

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After quitting the job, I was intent on moving to Idaho, the 43rd state, as corresponds to the New Church. And I saw a beautiful rainbow over the mountain one day, facing east, and I knew this is where I had to go. But this was before I talked to my mother, who invited me to live with her in Santa Rosa for awhile. Hence my 31st move involved moving back to California—the 31st state. I arrived on my mother's birthday, April 7th, and within a few weeks I found a trailer to rent in Forestville. It was about the time I found a job (the same day?) at N.C.I. (see chapter 8), and considered both the move and the new job my 32nd residence. Now the thing about N.C.I., is that it was in the process of being sold to Weigh-Tronix Corporation, a company located in Minnesota—i.e., the 32nd state. A connection I didn't make until much later, after the Santa Rosa plant packed up everything and moved to Minnesota!

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I worked there as a temporary again for two months, before deciding to leave, and considered moving back to Oregon—i.e., the 33rd state. Well the move didn't materialize and about a month later I got a call from the temporary agency and they asked if I wanted to go back to N.C.I.. When I got back they were surprised to see me, for they thought I had moved back to Oregon, what I apparently conveyed before leaving? Which seemed fitting for I had considered it the 33rd change of state. And, since my coming back corresponded to the 34th change, it seemed only fitting that they give me a badge, which read, 034! I was laid-off a few weeks later though, due to a lack of work.

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The 35th and 36th states involved the period I was out of work before finding another temporary job that lasted a few months. It became the 37th state. The 38th state involved getting a job at Weigh-Tronix, where I was initially greeted by a lady named Joyce (hence the number 38), who happened to the person I had a problem with when I was let go (fired) from N.C.I. in 1987. And although she recognized me, she didn't remember what happened and I figured this would determine how long I stayed there. To some extent it did.

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My 39th state involved renting a room from a lady at work, who I really liked. She was several years older than me, but still very youthful, and I portrayed myself as Odysseus returning home to Penelope (hence the number 39). But she was unaware of this, just as Penelope was unaware of Odysseus' return. I stayed for a couple of months but nothing became of it and I moved on (i.e., Odysseus remains only a short time before leaving). It was also at this time that I began working on this chapter.

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My 40th state involved sharing a condominium with someone in Rohnert Park. It was too cramped though, and our schedules conflicted, and I moved a few months later. This was after I saw the roommate wanted listing at work. He also lived in Rohnert Park, and owned a three bedroom house there, and I moved in shortly thereafter. So my 41st state involved moving just a few blocks away (i.e., with the ex-cop I speak of in chapter 13), where I was to stay for over two years.

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As for Idaho, and the 43rd change of state, I kept telling my mother after I had moved from Oregon that I intended to move there (which she found annoying). This didn't materialize either, although I got the opportunity to visit in late 1992 (as detailed in chapter 6). I had since become a permanent employee at Weigh-Tronix and been there about a year when I decided to take a couple weeks off. So I did. Well on the very day I got back, I received my review (it was past due) and, due to a host of things beyond my control, it was very unfavorable. So I got very upset and quit! (It was a bad time to give a review.)

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As I was still at my 41st residence, I viewed my visit to Idaho as the 42nd state, for it signified the beginning of the transition period between jobs. Thus when I found a new job a couple of months later, Idaho was now out of the question but, it was something I had to go through. (Nor was Idaho quite what I expected.) While according to Swedenborg, the number 42 signifies blasphemy, and you should have heard the blasphemies uttered from my lips that day!

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As for my 44th state, I received a call from Jennifer at one of the temporary agencies (hence the number 44) who had a job lined up in Petaluma. It didn't last more than a couple of weeks but I still acknowledged it as such. The 45th state involved getting the job I refer to in the last half of chapter 8, in February 1993 (regarding Easter). This was located in Rohnert Park. The 46th state was the period between jobs and the 47th state was a temporary job I got working at an injection molding place in Petaluma.

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The 48th state involved another temporary job in Petaluma, California, and I was intrigued that the number 48 bus took almost the same route I did. Also, one of the people who sat next to me kept talking about how he had moved to California from Arizona—the 48th state. That is until he quit (or they let him go?). Now what's funny is that after he left, one of the other girls from another department came and sat next to me, and she quit too! And said she was moving to Alaska—the 49th state. And indeed it wasn't too long afterwards that my roommate bought another house and we moved! It was my 49th move! While it was the same week that I quit my job, and spent the next two months at home.

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I didn't seem to have much luck looking for work, nor was I all that interested. I was more interested in moving to Portland, Oregon, feeling I had a better chance of finding work (as I spoke of in chapter 6). So my 50th residence involved moving to the Portland area. I was also thinking about Hawaii the 50th state, and didn't really expect to find a correlation. But one of the first places I called was in Aloha, i.e., Hawaii, The Aloha State. Indeed it crossed my mind when I called, but the room was already rented and I didn't think too much more of it. Besides, it seemed like it was too far away according to the map. (I wasn't really familiar with the area.)

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Well I finally found a place to stay in Beaverton, and hadn't given any more thought to Hawaii. But then I began to notice some of the other people's mail. (It was a shared rental.) It was addressed to Aloha? Come to find out Aloha is a subdivision of Beaverton (letters could be addressed to either) and I had moved to Aloha! It also symbolized my relationship with my mother, for in Hawaiian Aloha means both hello and goodbye, and although we said goodbye, I hadn't really left (not like other times) and I was really saying hello.